I am a prude…

I was leaving the spa and literally ran over a fellow on my way out of the door. This is strange considering one uses a glass door to exit. Anyway, I must have been in my own world because as soon as I stepped out of the door, I ran into a brick wall of abs and chest. I said “Excuse me”, and Mr. Abs and Chest replied, “Slow down little lady you might just hurt yourself”. When I looked up to see who I had run into, I was instantly in awe of the deep dimple on his left cheek. I am generally a sucker for one key feature. I like dimples and dents of sorts on a man’s face. I think he realized that I was mesmerized, so he grinned back at me. I just smiled and my head tilted to the side. Next thing I know we are eating dinner. He was 36, new to the city and a lawyer. He was a little egotistical (well ego’s can’t be little, but confidence is good in a man), but he was easy on the eyes and he thought I was adorable. I don’t like when men use words like cute and or adorable because I am not a cuddly bear. However, I cut em’ some slack and just filed the comment away. I left dinner satisfied I had almost run him over because I don’t think we would have met otherwise.

He called the next day asking if I wanted to go to lunch and I was delighted. We had lunch that afternoon, which was followed by three more dinners, two desserts and coffee, a movie and a trip to home depot. It was after the trip to home depot that I started thinking this might be something. I never like to get ahead of myself, but I think when people start asking your opinion about the interior décor of their home they are pretty comfortable. When he invited me over to his house I accepted. I was eager to see what he had done with my advice.

He was putting the finishing touches on dinner when I arrived at his house. He had some jazz playing and the lights were a little dim. I will not go so far as to say they were dim, but it wasn’t above 30 watts. I was about to sit down when he suggested that I take a look around. I told him that I would be more comfortable if he gave me a personal tour of his house. He agreed to a quick tour. To say his house was nice was an under statement, I realized that he certainly didn’t need my advice. Strange thing was I couldn’t really take in the house because I was distracted by the national geographic influenced pictures and statues on display. I am a tad bit too conservative for my years. However, I thought geeze is any piece of art in this house clothed, maybe I need to round up some grape leaves. I know artistic nudity when I see it, but this wasn’t artistic. I remained calm and told him his place was very nice.  After my little tour, he left me in the living room. I sat down and looked at his coffee table which seemed harmless at first glance, some economists, business weeks and journals lay neatly on top. Glass compartments housed books of the how to please or be pleased variety. Maybe he just wanted to be well prepared no matter what situation he encountered. I can appreciate the man who wants to be thoroughly prepared. He came into the living room and asked me if I wanted something to drink. I agreed to what I thought would be some basic liquid, but he offered me two drinks with very erotic names, I can’t even type them here for fear of turning three shades of pink. I asked if he had something plain and simple like wine and he just chuckled. At this point, I’m thinking, what have I gotten myself into? But up until this point he never said anything fresh nor did we ever have any conversation of a sexual nature, so I was like don’t flatter yourself honey. We had get this “drop them drawers” chicken and rice. This time I chuckled. Nothing during our dinner conversation was out of the ordinary. So I began to calm down. After dinner, he asked if I wanted to play some pool. “Sure,” I replied. I was following him into what I assumed was his basement, when we got to the first landing and I was looking smack dab at the center of a woman’s glory framed on the wall. I blinked to refocus because I knew I was looking at something else. I had never been so close and intimate with my own glory, so it seemed inappropriate to stare. So I looked away, but I couldn’t move. He continued down to the second landing and turned around. I looked at him wildly and he looked at me calmly. I returned an are you serious look and he shot back a you have got be kidding me look. Since my glares weren’t working, I spoke. It would be better to say that I screeched and kind of croaked at the exact same time.

I said, “No”. A little, no it was way too loudly. I don’t know what I even meant by that.

To which he replied, “What?”

“No,” I screeched and croaked.

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t want to play pool”. Again, spoken way too loudly.

“Why?” He started coming back up the stairs.

I started backing up and I stammered out some incoherent statement, but I know it included something about “I have to leave now.”

He instantly looked sad, no maybe it was more like dejected, but I didn’t care. As I raced back up the stairs to gather my things, he followed and asked did I want to go some place else.

Again I looked at him wildly and another high pitched squeal escaped me, “No!”

I zoomed through his living room like a track star and grabbed my shoes, bag and coat in one swoop. I was out of the door in under fifteen seconds.

“Wait, you can’t leave, we haven’t had dessert.”  He said as he stood in the doorway to his home.

All I could get out as I got into my car was “No!”