Hello Lover Boy…

Approach a man. If you have never done so before you have to do it. Try it today! The excitement of it all does wonders for the complexion. Haha!

 

I am not sure what has come over me recently, but if I see something I really like then I want to approach it, not just smile and hope it comes over. I have noted that the frequency of this urge has increased, although I must admit I have not been acting on this urge. Today was no different. I felt the urge, but I just couldn’t or maybe just didn’t want to deny it.

 

I was at the mall when I saw a tall and handsome guy strolling through the store by his lonesome. I was with a girlfriend and her bff shopping for a gift for her father, but in the belt department (after seeing Sex in the City we are all trying to add belts to the wardrobe). I thought he was sexy and I felt obligated to say hello. As he walked through the area we were in, I kept turning around to look at him. Each time I turned around he was looking at me, but he didn’t come over. We were in the middle of selecting belts to purchase so I was slightly distracted and he got away. After we purchased the belts, I let them know I had to hunt him down.

 

We headed back to the men’s department to find him. Now when we first started out I just wanted to find him, I couldn’t tell you what I was going to say. See funny thing is I never know what I am going to say after the first hello, and part of the excitement is just trying to determine the approach. We didn’t find him on the first floor so I suggested we go to the second floor. Bingo! There he was. He was in the urban section, so I thought dang he might be really young (I have also noticed that I am starting to think younger guys are very cute, hence my new hobby of going to blockbuster once a week to flirt with the cashier). As we walked over to him, all of a sudden I was so very nervous. I looked at my friend wide eyed and crazed and blurted out “I can’t do this”. Then I proceeded to the polo department to look at men’s shirts. Since she was getting a kick out of this, she asked me if I wanted her to approach him. Although it seemed like a good idea, at 25+ I couldn’t let her go over and tell him that she had a friend who thought he was cute blah blah blah. It would have been embarrassing. Plus I can embarrass myself on my own which I proceeded to do. While perusing the men’s shirts, attempting to get the courage to go over, whining about how I didn’t know what to say, I looked up and he was looking me dead in the face. Not knowing what else I should do I literally jumped behind a pole so he couldn’t see me. Now after I did this, I thought why, why did I jump why couldn’t I have turned and walked? My friend starts laughing and is not behind the pole, so if he was still looking I know he was cracking up too.

Since he totally knew we were talking about him and to save face, I adjusted my big girl panties and proceeded to go talk to him.

When I reappeared from behind the pole, he was still in the same section. As I approached, my stomach started churning and I got an instant case of heart burn. I was overcome with fear, almost to paralysis, but right when I was about to freeze, then turn and run, he turned around. So I smiled and he smiled back.

“Hi!” I know I had to have been a very bright pink.

“Hey, how are you?” When he said this he exposed a beautiful set of teeth and a rhythmic southern drawl that had to make the ladies swoon.

“I’m good. What are you shopping for? Maybe I could help.” I just smiled with my head titled to side.

He grinned back at me and we proceeded to chit chat about nothing in particular.

 

After our conversation, with his number safely saved to my phone, I walked off wondering what took me so long to say hello. I just chuckled to myself. The thrill of the chase, the uncertainty of what to say, the approach itself it produces a euphoric high. Plus I tend to get all giggly. I am telling you, you have to try it. It might just change your life.

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Mount and Mate…

I am a late bloomer. All my life I have been behind the rest of the pack. I bloom, but just when I’m ready and not a moment before. I didn’t have a boyfriend in kindergarten, no Bud like Rudy Huxtable, and I didn’t have a boyfriend (if that’s what you want to call him) til eleventh grade. There were crushes, yes, unexplained heart palpitations, and occasional fumbled sentences in front of the opposite sex, but for the most part I was extremely unimpressed. Actually I’m still not impressed. So imagine my surprise when I experienced the overwhelming desire to meet a man.

 

I was at the airport on my way to D____ for the weekend. While waiting for the train to come, I decided to give my new Fit Flops a work out. I had to go to terminal D and according to the sign it was 4000 feet away, so I said, “let’s walk it.” When I got to terminal A, I saw a man or rather I saw the BACK of a man. His back was the sexiest back I have ever seen in person. Immediately I was attracted to his build or what I could see of it from where I stood. He was pretty far ahead of me, but I picked up my steps. I needed to get to him and I didn’t want him to get away before I caught up with him.

 

As I pursued, I started questioning my excitement over this man. Why was I so attracted to his BACK, why had I honed in on him, why was he making my pulse race, why I was so drawn to him? I mean he hadn’t flashed a smile, I couldn’t smell him and all I could see of him was his back. Ah his gorgeous back. I have only approached one guy in my life. It was a test of sorts. I just wanted to see if I could pick up a guy and get him to give me his number. When I’m not testing theories, I use the 5 second gaze, smile and look away approach. If that doesn’t get the desired reaction, he isn’t the one. I started to think of what I would say when I caught up with him. What do you say to some stranger in the airport at 5:35 in the morning? It didn’t matter. I was mostly fantasizing about what he would say back to whatever I came up with.

 

I was doing my best impression of an Olympic Speed Walker, I had narrowed his lead by the time we approached terminal C. He was quick and he was moving. My short little legs could only go so fast and I couldn’t exactly run in the stacked Fit Flops. As I got closer, everything about this man made me want to take hold of him and mount him. The back of this man was turning me on. He had on a pair of khaki shorts, a baseball cap, and a blue polo shirt. He looked to be about 6’4”. His back was just this muscular hunk of an expanse that beckoned from under his shirt. His calves belonged in a museum, they were perfectly shaped. He needed to be in an underwear ad PRONTO. This man was like a real live Spartan, straight out of the movie 300. All we needed to set the scene was to have him in a loin cloth, with shield in his hand, running in slow motion down the escalator. I was even impressed by the way he walked. It was some sort of rounded, circular gait. It seemed like he didn’t want to bend his knees or something. Whatever it was it was manly and it drove me to trip along at a much faster pace.

 

I closed in on him between terminal C and D. My hair was in a pony tail, but I violently yanked the clip holding it up. I don’t know why I took my hair down because it’s not like I hard a mirror to look in, but I DO know men like hair, and I planned to work mine. I still didn’t know what I was going to say and that made me nervous. I thought about asking for directions, but I was in an airport and there was signage with directions everywhere. I didn’t want to seem simple. I decided a great big smile and a good morning would be sufficient.

 

I was right behind him, but just as I was about to make my approach he turned around. I was startled, so I jumped back, but I am clumsy so I missed my footing and started falling backwards. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards him. He smiled and said, “Morning, I didn’t mean to scare you.” His face didn’t disappoint, he wasn’t handsome, but he had a gorgeous, shiny white smile. However, my face immediately wrinkled up and I must have had some kind of absurd look on my face because he said, “Are you okay Ma’am?” This time I snatched my arm away from him, gave him another wild look and then I ran away. Actually it was more like a quick shuffle.

 

Why didn’t I smile back and say hello? Why didn’t I try to pick up the beautiful body that I speed raced down four terminals for? Why did I run away? When he opened his mouth what escaped was the thickest, warblely southern drawl I have ever heard. His voice didn’t match all that body. Don’t get my wrong a drawl can be very sexy, but his speech offended my ears. His twang was just all wrong. If sirens lured men to their death with their beautiful voices, then he lured women with his beautiful body and slew them with his voice.