Is that smoke I smell?

If I like everything about a person except for one thing, shouldn’t I get over myself to get over it? Especially if it’s just ONE thing? Okay that one thing is that I think he smokes, but I asked and he said no. Maybe I simply just don’t like how he smells, but how do I tell someone hey I don’t like you because your pheromones stink?

This is an excerpt from an email that I sent to a friend that leads to part two of this three part series.


Okay my perfect little man has a problem or maybe I have a problem. He is witty, intelligent, wise beyond his years, thoughtful, has no children, has never been married, employed with a business on the side, sweet to his mama and did I mention he even goes to church. The boy can quote scripture. From my vantage point he is perfect. I knew it was too good to be true, there had to be a catch. However, I basked in the glory of his perfection.

Today I discovered it, an imperfection. He smokes. I had suspected it from our first date. Well at least I think he does, but when I asked him he said he didn’t. He even wondered why I would ask such a thing. I told him because I smelled smoke in his car and faintly on him. Now it wasn’t strong, but I grew up with smokers so I can sniff it out. Since, I didn’t believe him I decided to get a second opinion. I had a friend come along on a date. Very cute you have to try it, it’s like highschool all over again when a friend tags along, it is very exciting because you try to do freaky things without being caught. Anyway, she advised that she didn’t smell smoke on him or in his car, but that he looked like he smoked. Huh? What does a smoker look like? Apparently my new crush. Well that wasn’t enough to go on, so I just asked him again. This time I ticked off all substances that could be smoked, but he stuck to his original response, no. He did admit to smoking an occasional cigar.

Now I’m thinking okay what is going on with me? Why do I smell smoke, and if I truly smell smoke can I be with him?  Is one thing enough to break up a perfectly happy situation? I have a list of now sixty three things and counting that I know I want in a man, twenty two of them are a must, seven are deal breakers and the rest just icing on the cake. Smoking is a deal breaker. I just don’t think I can deal with a smoker. However, he says he doesn’t smoke, but I’m like liar liar pants on fire. Wait, but what if he really doesn’t smoke? Then does that make me crazy? Especially since I smell smoke. If it’s not smoke, what the hell am I smelling? However this is serious because either he’s lying or I’m crazy.

If he does smoke I think I could convince him to quit smoking, but I don’t believe in making grown people do anything they don’t want to do. If it turns out that he does smoke, then we also have to deal with the fact that he lied. Ouch that’s a tough one, and this is in the beginning when there are no reasons to lie no bodies to bury…so it’s pointless. Why not be honest? Now if he doesn’t smoke I’m going to have to visit the doctor’s office and find out why I’m able to manifest non-existent smells.

Have I imagined something is wrong so that I can find a flaw in a perfectly good man so that I can make him normal? I don’t think I would consciously do this, but maybe my self conscious is out to sabotage my happiness. I believe that I may just be looking for something to gripe and complain about. I don’t want to get in my own way. I just know I may have to face an issue that I considered a deal breaker. If a suitor possesses a characteristic that is a deal breaker I am supposed to walk away. In this situation, I don’t believe that I should allow smoking to ruin a perfectly fine situation.