God-Forsaken Hours…

During each day, there are unacceptable hours to accept calls from new suitors. I think one must establish a foot-hold on a new island to call after dusk, but one must capture the island to call after eleven.  Anytime before 11:00 pm is okay, if you call me at 10:59 pm then we are cool, but if you call at 11:00 pm we are going to have a problem.


I am not exactly sure how I arrived at 11:00 pm. No, I know. When I was a child 11:00 pm meant the news was coming on and it was too late for me to be up. If I was still up and around my Granny was not happy. I could be sitting on the couch with her at 10:55 pm, all hugs and giggles, but at 10:59 pm I had better be climbing into bed because the moment clock struck 11 it would be what are you doing up at this God-forsaken hour. When I was really little I thought something terrible happened to children after 11:00 pm.  Childhood is where the association started, and it would be hard to reverse my Granny’s training now. So whenever someone new calls me at 11:00 pm I almost snarl at the phone. Now there are slightly different rules on the weekend, I’m a little more lenient, I extend a five minute grace period until 11:05 pm.


Unfortunately there are some men who only want to talk late at night. I can’t do it. I will only make exceptions for individuals who get off their job at 11:00 pm. Funny that I have never met an individual who qualifies. So everyone had better call me during good Christian hours. However, with people working longer hours and having after work commitments, it is reasonable for someone to get home around 10:00 pm, get settled and then call after 11:00 pm. This is the situation that I currently find myself in. I have a really nice guy that I want to get to know better, but he won’t call til after 11:00 pm. Based on his conversations during the day it seems as if he is extremely busy after work and calls me when he has a moment to catch his breath. Since I won’t answer the phone when he calls he thinks I can’t hang and go to bed early. I haven’t told him that I gawk at the phone when he calls. I’m not sure if this is immature to keep this information from him, but I know he knows that he can’t call me that late.


I have attempted to help him see the light. I will call at 8 or 9 pm. I have even called at 10:45 pm, but it never works and I’m surprised he hasn’t caught the hint. Why can’t we have a conversation at say nine, why must he always call when I am most likely exhausted, sleepy, tired and prone to mutterings of nonsense? Plus 11:00 pm and later is reserved for your man or for your friend that acts as your man, I will call him the place holder since he is merely standing in until you get a real man. While typing that I realized that I need to stop spending time with the stand in, that’s time that could be used cultivating a relationship with a real man, but I digress. As a new suitor, doesn’t he know that he shouldn’t call that late? So it upsets me to no end that he thinks it is acceptable to call me at God-Forsaken hours and he expects to have a conversation.