Perpetrating a Fraud…

National Blog Posting Month is here. I am going to participate  and attempt to post every day for the month of July. What Fun. Ha! My random thoughts everyday for a month. This is going to get interesting. Well let’s get cracking and I mean literally because I am flexing my intertwined fingers out in front of me now. What will I talk about today?

Ah! I know…

I am so late on this, but I have to speak on it anyway. Plus, I am late for obvious reasons the death of the King has me unconcerned about reality tv stars. However, while watching Chelsea Lately and dozing off to sleep, I saw a commercial for E! News. The commercial promised pictures of Kendra’s wedding at the Playboy Mansion. WTH?!?!?

I woke up and pulled the spectacles from my bedside dressing table onto my nose. I was certain I had heard the wrong thing. Chelsea comes back on and I am hoping that she is about to shake hands with the audience so we can get to the news. This is the first time that I’ve ever wished I had internet access in my room. Why am I concerned about Kendra? Of all the causes to support, problems to resolve and subjects to research why would I pick one so shallow, misguided and without any redeeming value? Because I have a strange fascination with the Girls Next Door and their cohabitation experiment. It was the first reality show that I made sure I was home to watch. I was actually sad when it went off since all the ladies left the house to go explore the wider world. The story was as advertised, Kendra was indeed married at the playboy mansion and the proof was in the pictures. I know Kendra is all parties and booty shake, but even she had to know you don’t get married at your Ex’s house. I mean doesn’t she know this? Shame on Mama Kendra if she did not.   

The pictures left me with two thoughts…

First Thought…

Is Kendra Crazy? What kind of woman gets married at her Ex’s house where God only knows what happened and they cohabitated? And what kind of man stands for it? Even if Kendra had a wonderful relationship with Hugh and the break up wasn’t bad it is still not appropriate to marry your NEW man at your OLD man’s house. I don’t care how much you care about him it’s disrespectful to your NEW man. There should be a clear divider between relationships and conducting your nuptials at your Ex’s place certainly blurs the lines. Closure is not saying I do on OLD man’s lawn. Hmmm….always thought Kendra’s airy-ness was merely exaggerated to portray her as a carefree, young spirit, but maybe she is a little off.

The second thought…

Wait! Ohhhh NoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo! It can’t be true, but it has to be? The Girl’s next door was a SHAM! Oh the tragedy of it. I put my hand to my forehead and fainted into my fluffy pillows. I was outraged! I was deceived, hood-winked, duped, 52 faked out, bamboozled and swindled out of my precious time. The playboy mansion was merely an apartment building for blondes. Holly claiming that Hugh didn’t need viagra cause she snuck up on him a few times just fabrications to prop up his swinger lifestyle. It was a marketing ploy to make Playboy relevant again and accessible to younger generations. A cheap, simple, savvy way to revitalize the brand. No wonder those ladies didn’t have any cat fights (I witnessed a few side glances), they were NOT sharing a man. They merely shared the same residence. I was convinced of this last night lying in my bed. I suspected it, but Kendra’s playboy mansion wedding pictures made it perfectly clear that their show was a fraud. I spent Sundays watching this scripted, fictitious, soap-opera farce passed off as a reality show. I will admit I was entertained, but reality tv does not require willing suspension of disbelief of it’s viewers because it’s supposed to be real. I mean I know there is “light” scripting and some editing, but the whole premise of the show was not real. The audacity of them all. I was merely a pawn in their ploy to gain tv ratings and publicity. Fooled me once, but it’s shame on you Hugh. What I was watching was a sham and you know it! I want an apology and some sort of consolation prize for playing along.

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The Mistress…

I went to the movies last night to see the Duchess. It’s a great movie, and when I say great I mean that in a I thought the actors did a great job of portraying the life and disturbing marriage of Georgina Cavendish, the Duchess of Devonshire. The Duchess had hoped to have a marriage filled with love, devotion and conversation that lead to a connection with her husband. Unfortuntaely her marriage was no fairy tale and there was no love, no passion and definitely no conversation, just duties and responsibilities to be fulfilled. Clearly her role was to secure the duke’s lineage by producing a male heir. It should be noted that initially she has children just not boys. 

 

While on vacation in Bath, to receive “ treatments” to treat her lack of male heirs, she befriends Bess. In the movie, she approaches Bess after she watches her husband speak to her at a party. Why she chooses to befriend a woman she knows her husband is attracted to is a mystery to me. It’s plain, poor decision making in my mind. I suppose the two forge a relationship based on unhappy marriages. Plus, Bess tells the Duchess a sob story about being beaten by her husband and not being able to see her children. The Duchess must have been moved by the story because she invites her to come live with her family. Poor thing was bored, wanted company and needed a friend, but that does not excuse another act of poor decision making. If you see your man trying to hollar at a another woman you do not let her into your home. Bess moves into the house and from the minute she gets there she is scheming. The Duchess learns that Bess can’t be trusted when arrives home after a political meeting to hear the shrieks and panting of the two in the duke’s room. She is heartbroken and demands that the duke send Bess away, but he responds that this is out of the question. So now her husband’s whore, sorry mistress, is posted up chilling at the crib. Bess even moves her three little boys into the house. What is absurd is that they all sit at the same table and eat dinner together. It is mad. I could not even imagine the heartache, grief and misery The Duchess must have had to cope with daily. However, it got me to thinking would I rather have my man’s mistress under the same roof or be tormented by knowing he was having an affair with another woman?

 

Should the mistress be a mystery?

 

I am a firm believer that men are only as faithful as their options. I also believe men cheat, unless they have a solid relationship with God. Therefore in my mind MOST men cheat. So would I rather know and live with the competition or wonder who she is, what she looks like and what my man sees in her? It’s kind of like Hef and his girlfriends, these girls know the name and face of those competing for Hef’s attention. Maybe this knowledge is comforting, but I often wonder what type of self esteem issues Holly, Bridgette and Kendra are battling with and whether they receive therapy.  However, maybe it is nice to know. Instead of wondering where he is and what he might be doing, I would know exactly what is going on and how frequently. I believe that perfume on jackets, make-up on collars, hushed phone calls, lonely nights, unexplained absences, inattentive love making and distance definitely have to be worst. There is comfort in what you can see and feel. The unknown and the unseen are way more scarier since your imagination takes over. I would also much rather be on my own turf so I can keep an eye on her. She might prove to be useful and helpful with managing the household. Who knows she could be great at scrabble and be very interesting and entertaining. I mean if my husband likes her I might as well. I also wouldn’t have to worry about losing any beauty sleep tosing and turning from anxiety over my husband, I bet I would sleep like a baby.

 

The worse case scenario would be I didn’t like her. I think that I can pretty much get along with anyone so I don’t think this would be a problem. Issues might arise from jealousy on my part and not wanting to share. I am selfish and I want what I want when I want it. Not being able to see my husband on my schedule would cause complications to the arrangement. What if somehow my husband started to prefer her over me? Oh that would surely cause confusion and then I would have to leave. So I don’t think that knwoing the other woman or moving her into the house would work for me after all.  I do hope that my husband has a close, solid relationship with God.