Am I THAT girl?

I recently had a misunderstanding with a friend and there was an unfortunate outcome. I don’t think we are speaking anymore. Now, I have sent a few texts and texting is the devil, but I expected a response. We had a long conversation about how not speaking was childish. He told me that if we were ever not speaking, he would like to know about it so he wouldn’t unnecessarily bother me. Especially if I no longer desired his company. He didn’t want to be THAT guy. The one who calls, texts, emails and sends carrier pigeons in hopes of re-establishing the lines of communications. So can’t he at least provide the same courtesy and let me know that we aren’t talking? 

I think it might be helpful to provide a little background about our situation. We met at Lucky. A girlfriend was trying to determine whether or not she wanted to hook up with an old flame while flirting with possibilities. I was peering into my empty glass when a guy approached me to introduce his friend. I think this is so lame, but he was older so I played along. This was during my older man phase, so while she sat contemplating our next move, I made nice with him. He was a little too smooth for me, but somehow I gave him my number. Not really somehow, we were changing locations and they wanted to tag along. So he asked for my number, for directions sake of course. He got me! Despite my temporary lapse of better judgment, I am grateful that we made the connection. After about four phone calls we decided to go out. Our first date was nice. I learned that he was a gentlemen, refined, well spoken, oh so smooth and witty. The best part is that he always smells SO good. I am a sucker for an intoxicating aroma. Think it has to do with my love for food, and smell is so key. He also likes music, and he opened me up to some new sounds that I had never heard before. He is also profound and deep, which works sometimes because he catches me off guard. However, the jokes on him because anyone who knows me well knows I’m not deep. It’s just not in me. I don’t know, but I just don’t have that psychic connection with the universe that causes me to have a deep connection with my emotions. So after a few dates and more conversation, it came out that he liked me, a lot. Problem, during this same conversation I discovered that he had three children. Not the one that I remembered from his second interview. Now he claimed that we focused on his first child only because I asked so many questions. We just didn’t get around to the second child, and definitely not the third child. So clearly it was my fault. I guess I just didn’t ask the right questions. Guys get me with that one, because if you don’t ask the right questions you will not get the desired information. I sometimes think about going to law school just so that I can ask the right questions and argue my point effectively. However, I thought it was strange that his other children never came up, and they are young 6 and 9. These are cute, cuddly ages that produce lots of funny, fluffy stories for parents to share. So with the three children in mind, I reassessed the situation and decided that it would be best if we didn’t continue dating. I told him this and he said he understood, but we agreed to remain friends. Now to be honest we had two dates after this conversation, so I don’t think he or I took me seriously.

We were chatting on my way to work last week, when I mentioned that I wanted to see Alvin Ailey. He thought it was a great idea and suggested that I get tickets. I giggled because I thought he said something too ticklish. I know that he caught my surprise in my giggle, but he ignored it, so I played along with him. The key is that we ended the conversation without me agreeing to purchase any tickets. I received an email later during the same day from a friend inquiring if I wanted to see the exact same show. Hey the universe provides when you ask. Who am I to turn it down? So I decided to tell him. I don’t know why I just didn’t come up with some lame excuse, but I am grown and I hate to lie when I don’t have to. Plus the worse is to see someone you blew off while you are out. This has happened to me, numerous times, and I’m just too old for that now. I thought my decision to tell him was courteous. Wrong!  He was not happy. He immediately texted me to say that he was displeased and thought I must be joking with him. I responded by text that it was no joke and that it was because I didn’t have to pay for tickets. I really don’t know WHY I said that. He did not like that response either and sent the following: You know I would do just about anything for you. I’ve taken you out on me. Not one time have you offered to give or take me out (not that I need you to). For you to decide to take that offer spells out the youngness in you. And your reply is really young. Wow that reply is crazy young, what’s wrong with you. I’m not going off, I’m just amazed at you. Hey look good luck to you in your endeavors. Now after reading this text I thought okay its over. I must admit I was a little sad, but all situations need a decisive ending so I thought this was it. To my surprise, he called me shortly thereafter. Since I was in a good mood and I consider myself to be quite mature, not young at all, I answered the phone. The conversation started off tense, but by the end of it I was under the impression we were definitely still friends. I thought the misunderstanding was resolved and we could go back to the friend charade. The next week I got a blank text from him. Not wanting to miss whatever it was he had to say, I let him know that it was blank. When I did not receive a response, I sent another text. I have not heard a peep from him since. Do I reach out again or do I let it go? Life has taught me that ALL men, no matter what they say or what you do, will call, email or text after the “end”. So I want to wait, but I am baffled because this is so opposite to what he preached. I also believe he wants me to be baffled so that he will therefore be on my mind. However, all that really doesn’t matter I just simply want to know what’s up. I mean I just want to be clear that we aren’t talking so I won’t be THAT girl.