Is that you God? It’s me UK…

I’m sitting on my couch in the dark. I can’t believe it, but it’s snowing outside.  Looks just like a snow globe. Beautiful. This abnormal weather has affected my electricity. My power always seems to go out during storms and I guess this fluffy snow qualifies as a storm. It’s been about two hours since my lights flickered on and off and then everything went out. I know Ga.P is working on it. Whenever anything happens in my neighborhood the clean up and repair happens quickly. However, they aren’t working fast enough for me.

I have some where to be in about an hour and a half and it doesn’t seem like my power wants to cooperate. I’m going to a sporting event and I would like to be presentable, not unironed and disheveled looking. The ideal is to be freshly showered, powedered, rouged, perfumed and perfectly primped. I have one option that is convenient. It’s close proximity will allow me exactly enough time to get over there and get ready with time to spare. It is a bad option, but it is an option and I think today is the day to exercise it.

My option stays right up the street from me, about four minutes away. I’m quite positive his power is on. The question: Is he home? The second question: Will he let me use his home to get ready? I know that I shouldn’t reach out to him, but my mind immediately went to him about midtext to my girl that I would  be late to the game. I stopped, I thought wait I can go right up the street. That in itself is a problem because I truly despise myself whenever I talk to him and for very good reason. He’s a whore and he is selfish, need I say more. 

I haven’t thought of him since the day after christmas, when he texted me a belated Merry Christmas. Anybody’s birthday you can easily forget, but baby Jesus? Who forgets that? He is such an @$$ #@!%, but those are the one’s I generally find the most endearing simply because they keep things interesting and entertaining. Plus he is so conveneint, I could walk to his house if necessary.

I got up to put my clothes and toiletries in my travel bag. Pretty presumptuous, I know. I know he will let me come come over. I picked up my cell phone to call him, a text would not do in this situation. I flipped my phone open and toggled to his name. Before I could press the call button, the lights flickered back on, as well as the heat and tv. I put the phone down. A sign from God? I am going with Yes. Most Definitely. He saved me from no electricity dialing. Thank you! Good looking out.

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Bah Humbug or Cupid is Stupid…

The holidays are over, but it’s the best time of year so why not bring them back up. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday…but Christmas comes in a very close second. What’s not to love about those two? Everyone wants to get together for fun, food and fellowship. People want to give you stuff and it’s not even your birthday. Ah and the food is fantastic! It is strange that there are many foods that I only get to have once a year, but I LUV them like Honey baked ham, sweet potato soufflé, egg nog, Russian tea, coconut cake and fried turkey. It’s probably for the best because no one is concerned about fat content or caloric count of anything they are cooking which makes everything tastier. I think the most significant thing that happens around the holidays is that practically everyone, including myself, is more jolly and nice during this time of year. Then I was faced with my own holiday kindness test.

 

Get to the point….I’m getting there…

 

It’s a fact, if you are a good woman you can’t get rid of men. They might not behave like you want them to or even call when you want them to, but they will always comeback. It’s on their own timetable based upon how bad they think they messed up the last go round or if they left to go chase a NO-good woman. Once they calculate the screw-up and the time necessary to cool off they will call to check-up on you, and see what’s going on. They are just trying to collect information, see if you are still mad, if you still care and to determine the competition. I am oh to familiar with this pattern. I get a few calls every month. Some calls I ignore, some calls cause me to fall out laughing, but other calls I answer. I received a check-up call the day before Christmas eve. I hadn’t heard from him since my birthday, but it’s the holidays and people get all sentimental and long for the comfort of familiar people, places and things. Plus I was in a most festive mood.

 

“Hello.”

“Ursala, Ursala, Ursala!” Said with that I got a plan for you while rubbing hands together. This tone creeps me out.

“Who is this”? I have caller ID, I know the identity of most every call I answer, but I can’t help but be myself.

“It’s Sebastian.” Of course I’ve changed names to protect those who are NOT innocent.

“Hi.”

“What’s good, how have you been?”

“Fine.”

“That’s great. You have been on my mind. I lost my cell and I had to hunt your number down. I even called you at work. Did you leave your job?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“It was time to go.”

“So what have you been up to?”

“A little of this, a little of that.”

“You aren’t going to make this easy are you?”

“Nope.” I wanted to say why should I, but decided to keep that to myself.

“Ursala, be nice. Isn’t this your favorite time of year.” Such a blasphemous devil, using my emotional connection to Christmas for his demented plans.

“What do you want?” I like to see what direction someone is going in before I make a move.

“Get to the point. Okay. I want to see you. I miss your pretty smile. A friend of mine is having a dinner tomorrow and I wanted you to come with me.”

“You want ME to go to a dinner party with YOU on Christmas Eve?”

“Yes!” He chuckled like a little boy who stumbled upon his dad’s collection of playboys.

“No!”

 

I understand calling around major holidays and or a birthday. It presents a perfect excuse to call, wish someone a happy holiday and then strike up a conversation. I can go along with that and even be quite cordial. Holidays put me in a warm, fuzzy mood and I’m pretty open to anything. At least I thought so until I received his phone call.  It is one thing to call on say October 5th and invite someone to a dinner party the following day. However, it is something very different to request someone who you are border line on non-speaking terms with to accompany you to a holiday soiree. Holidays are supposed to be happy times even if you have to fake it, but it is only fair and appropriate to fake it for those I love and care about. What if he ticked me off? I have no incentive to act nice or be mature. I could end up spoiling his holiday as well as mine. I think that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are only for family, special friends or an agreed upon significant other. Definitely not some silly little man I dated ages ago who is bored or rethinking his poor decision making. The audacity to cross such a line is bold, too bold for me. I can’t trust somebody like that or accompany them to a dinner party.

 

Fast forward to today…

I am minding my own business when my cell rings and I see an unidentified number. There’s a lot going in my life right now so it’s necessary to answer all calls if I am available.

 

“Good Afternoon, this is Ursala.”

“I like when you answer your phone all professional. You sound so sexy. What are you wearing?”

“Hello?!?” My voice went up a couple of octaves with a tinge of attitude.

“Ursala, calm down, it’s me Sebastian. I’ve missed you. Do you miss me?”

“Can’t say that I do.” A lie, but he doesn’t respect sincerity.

“I know you do, that’s why you answered the phone.” Ughhh I hate this man, he is so arrogant. I like a very cocky, confident man, borderline arrogant, but he is too extra.

“I’m having a great day please don’t spoil it for me.”

“What happened to the sweet girl I once knew?”
“She grew into a lady that doesn’t deal with @ssholes.”

“Stop it with the language. You are to pretty to use words like that.”

“I’m busy and you are using up my daytime minutes.”

“I know that deep down you love me and I care about you. I want us to spend Valentine’s day together. I want to take you out. What do you say?”

“No!”

 

What is dude’s deal? I haven’t heard from him since December 23, 2008 and now he is on my phone asking me to spend what is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year. A day that is reserved for lovers or sweet crushes and acts of sincere love or infatuation. I am already feeling a little strange since I haven’t had a REAL valentine since 2006. I mean I’m not going to be depressed or sad on valentine’s day, nothing close to that. However, I don’t think Valentine’s day is easy for single ladies and it is wrong to play to that emotion to get a date. I think it’s just plan selfish and rude. Or is it kindness and I’m evil?