Something New…

I know that love can come in all different shapes, sizes, sorts, but am I ready to cross the color line? This weekend I saw a movie called Something New on Oxygen that explored the topic of interracial dating. I know, I know it’s 2009, America is a melting pot, Obama is president and clearly race is becoming irrelevant, but I still see rainbow hues. 

I’ve always thought that culture, environment and upbringing determined a person’s color identity. This is how I explain for example “White” Asians, “Black” Whites and “White” Blacks. Despite embracing diversity I have never seriously considered dating anyone outside of my race. In college, I did go out with a few guys (all blind dates), but I’ve never really took them or the date seriously. I never even went on a second date with any of them. I must admit that I have always assumed I would be with someone of the same race. Up until recently it was not even a possibility because I was never approached by men outside of my race. I’m not sure what has happened, undoubtedly something has shifted in the universe, or maybe it’s because I smile more, but it has been a rainbow coalition of men approaching me.

I have not really been sure how to handle it. I initially felt uncomfortable, that word may be too strong, I initially felt suspicious, like maybe I was on some hidden camera show. When I have been approached I’ve always turned to look behind me to see if I was indeed being spoken to. Even though the experiences seemed odd, but flattering, it has made me very aware of the interracial possibilities. What is crazier is that in the past two months no one of “my kind” has approached me, so if I want to date right now I’m going to have to entertain the idea of crossing the color line.

But I have my concerns…

I do believe there will be difficulties. I know that people who don’t share the same cultural backgrounds may have trouble finding common ground. I think that is what concerns me most.  I also think there may be some barriers to understanding one another because we are from different backgrounds. I also wonder if the individual really finds me attractive. I don’t want to be exotic, I want to be what they truly desire no matter what the color. I also wonder if I will be self conscience of what I say. I am generally the least concerned with what people think of or assume about me. It’s my world and everyone else is just in it. However, when in like and in love, I know I would want to please and definitely not offend. I know I would have to watch my mouth. And if that’s the case, would I be able to truly be myself? I also worry about the identity of our children or should I say possible identity confusion. Although I’m sure well adjusted mixed race children do exist, as well as parents of mixed race children who do provide a culturally enriched childhood that draws on both backgrounds, but all the mixed race children I know have issues. Most of them identify with one side and it’s generally the one they look most like and aren’t some type of a cultural hybrid. They also tend to have identity crises that manifest themselves in college or during their early adult life, which causes them to shun the race they identified with before the crisis and cling to the one that has long been ignored. I know I shouldn’t be concerned about children when dating, but I am.

Despite my concerns I am really thinking about going on a test date. Plus I know being open minded will ultimately increase the number of suitable suitors, but am I really ready to try something new?

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1 Comment

  1. July 9, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    […] was ruminating over the idea of going out with someone of a different racial background or trying Something New. The idea is in heavy rotation in my mind. Thinking and pondering is what I do when […]


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