The Brunch…

I need to redirect my chi, cleanse my karma or maybe I need to forgive somebody because I must not be living right. Today I went to brunch with a married man. A tall, handsome, clean-cut, educated, have my ish together, but joined in marriage to somebody man. After learning this vital piece of information I wondered did I miss something? Maybe my wires got crossed, but I now my circuitry and everything is working properly. Did I push up on him? I will flirt which includes smiling or making eye contact and holding it for more than three seconds, but from my recollection I didn’t even notice him. He was trying to holler, right? I think as a single woman I know when someone is hollering.

 

I was standing in line at Doc Greens in the way of people who knew what they wanted. After two weeks of no greens, I needed vegetables, but I was overwhelmed by all the possibilities. I allowed several patrons to pass me as I tried to figure out what I was going to order. I finally decided on some type of veggie, mushroom wrap. When I got to the register my meal had been paid for. I looked up and saw the smiling culprit holding my food. I thanked him, took the bag and proceeded to the condiment island. This is where the story should have ended, but he wanted to holler.

 

He came over introduced himself and we engaged in unnecessary small talk. See I had on sweats and flip flops, so I wasn’t really trying to get hollered at. Despite my desire to remain incognito I was Miss Chatty. The fact that he was cute as a button, sort of like an over grown boy, helped as well. He asked for my information. I declined and instead asked for his card. He said he didn’t have one so I ended up giving him my number. I am certain that he had a card, but I played along with his little game. He called shortly after I left the parking lot. Turns out we had a lot more to talk about.

 

Conversation flowed very easily, so it was no surprise when he asked me to dinner. I suggested we have brunch since breakfast is my favorite meal. At brunch, we settled into a traditional round of Prince or Michael Jackson, religious or atheist, democrat or republican, east coast or west coast, summer or winter, paper or plastic. We ended up talking about our families, and this round of questioning led to do you have kids and the all important what’s your marital status. When he said no kids I thought YESSSSSS! I was not prepared for the next answer. He responded that he had been married once. I asked, “How long have you been divorced?”

He responded, “I’m not divorced, I’m still married.”

I looked at him. Then I looked around the restaurant. I then said, “Are you separated?”

“Nope, I’m married.”

I whispered back “You are married?!?” He whispered back “Yes!”

 

My jaw dropped and nothing came out, but there were so many things running through my mind all at once, but I couldn’t find the appropriate response. What is the proper reaction or response to why yes I am married? I was also trying to figure out if I had missed something. There was no ring on his finger, I was sure that he picked ME up at Doc Greens, and after all of the prior conversations and texts I didn’t remember anything that indicated he was taken and he was definitely fresh and flirty. I was immediately uncomfortable, pissed, irritated and nervous. I was scared his wife might pop out of the bushes. I shared this fear with him and he replied “Oh she’s in LA.” Whew I was relieved, but then I was like WTH!

 

Of course I chose to dig deeper and ask questions instead of throwing my lemonade on him and storming out. I really think that kind of stuff only happens on tv. He explained that he never intended for things to get as far as brunch. Originally he just planned to pay for my meal and wasn’t trying to get my number. My response to that was “Well why did you ask for it?” He said I seemed nice and it was real easy talking to me. He only planned to talk to me on the phone ever so often. My response to that was“You realize you called me like three minutes after I gave you my number?” He replied “I wanted to talk to you. Didn’t you think we had a good conversation?” I ignored this and explained that he should have revealed that he was married somewhere between can I get your number and let’s go out to eat. He didn’t agree, he felt it never came up in conversation. Plus he added this was new territory for him and this was the first time he had gone out with another woman. He finished his statement with “You should be flattered, I never do this.” I wanted to tap him real good in the jaw as he sat across from me all smug, but seemingly sincere.

 

I told him that I was in no way flattered by his attention because he wasn’t available. His attention did the exact opposite it made me feel uncomfortable. We also talked about whether he was happy. My advice for any person in a relationship, if you aren’t happy leave, but if you are happy stay true and faithful. He wasn’t unhappy, so in my mind he was just greedy and selfish. I know that I shouldn’t have sat and talked to him after he told me he was married. I just wanted to understand the mindset, but none of what we discussed helped me understand. Plus I was further irritated when he mentioned that he thought we could be friends. What was strange is that nothing about him seemed slimy, trifling or fraudulent. But the devil never comes in a hideous disguise, he is always pleasing to the ears and easy on the eyes. Since I don’t want to go to hell, I told him we couldn’t be friends.

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