So what do you think about a blind date…

I have reached the coupling age. The time when everyone around seems to be looking for deeper more meaningful relationships that lead to some serious form of commitment, marriage and a family. As a woman I realize that I have a shelf life, youth and beauty will fade and it is great to get while the getting is good. I survived one coupling cycle when I graduated from college. A third of my college friends married shortly after we graduated. Unfortunately, only one of those marriages is still in tact. I like to refer to those early marriages as the trial marriages. Those marriages are just to test the waters and rarely last. The coupling is in full force right now, maybe it’s because it’s cold outside and the holidays are coming up. Nonetheless that loving feeling is in the air and it ain’t cause it’s spring.

 

Due to the coupling season, it never surprises me when relationships and dating come up in groups of three or more women. I was having dinner with friends and the conversation drifted to the men folk. Half of the group was happily coupled or dating someone with lots of potential. I fell into the second group, those who are casually going out and seeing multiple people. I explained my situation and that I am cool with it. Basically, I go out and do so often, but I’m enjoying myself. I haven’t found anyone that I should settle down with. I have settled down before and I know what it feels like. It’s generally a whirlwind of emotions and bliss and kissing and blushing and giggles and butterflies and what are you doing so I can be there too. I know what it looks like and it hasn’t found me. In the meantime, I just enjoy the entertainment.

 

Well one of my friends didn’t want to just leave it at that. She asked “Do you want to get married?” I hate this question because it can mean so many different things depending on who says it and in what tone and after a certain line of questioning. It was only fair that she asked this question. I know that part of it is due to the fact that about four years ago I was nearly obsessed with marriage. It was so unlike me because before that relationship I had never concerned myself with marriage. I don’t think it was so much marriage that I wanted as it was a desire to be engaged. Actually maybe it was not even so much to be engaged, but just to have my hand spoken for publicly. My head was abuzz and it seemed only a ring on my left hand would silence it. I was in a serious relationship where the natural next step was an engagement. Looking back I realize that this idea was based on my upbringing, societal norms and an understanding of dating that made me believe that it was the only natural progression to what we shared. It was not necessarily based on what he and I needed to do. A ring consumed me and I talked about it constantly. I generally delivered soliloquies to whoever would listen but quietly to my ramblings. Each soliloquy ended with the question was there a U variable in his equation since I hadn’t received a ring. I am older and wiser and no longer afflicted by the needforaringitist.

 

Anyway, I told her “Yeah, I guess, eventually at some point if and when I found someone that I want to marry.” Next she asked “How do you feel about a blind date? I have someone I want you to meet.” I love that people are concerned about me and my love life. I often find that people want to help me and I appreciate their concern. I have been out on two blind dates. Both went extraordinarily well so I don’t have anything against blind dates. However, I have heard horror stories about them and I am shy. So I am always hesitant to agree to them, which is why I have only been on two. There must have been a full moon out because sitting at the table with all eyes on me I said “Sure. Why not?!”

 

To be continued…

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