Love in this Club…

I am a strong believer that the club is NOT where I should meet men. Don’t get me wrong great people go to the club. I go to the club and my friends go to the club, but it is the last place I would consider when looking for a man. I could meet a man who is the embodiment of all that I desire, possess all 67 of the things I want in a man, but if I met him at the club it would be a no go. The mixture of booze, dim lights, smoke and late night hours just doesn’t make me feel comfortable trusting myself with anyone I might meet while I am there. However, I do believe that men think that they can really find that special someone at the club.


I no longer go to the club just to hang out. I go out with a purpose and for a reason. My purpose this Saturday was a celebration of life, one of my favorite friends was celebrating her 30th birthday so I decided to step out for a night on the town. Looking nice, smelling nice, feeling nice I headed to dinner and then out to the club.


When we arrived at the club I picked out a prime wall location to watch and observe. Once stationed, I watched purses and drinks while my friends danced. I don’t go to the club to dance, I go for the people, and I love to people watch. My favorite places for this past time include the airport, mall and of course the club. I was sitting down tapping my foot to the beat, but then my song came on by Mister Johnny Boy Legend I think it’s called Green Light. I had to get up and shake a tail feather, so I told one of my girls to watch everyone’s stuff. I ran to the dance floor and I was two stepping it all over the place. A guy came up behind me. Don’t like that at all so I turned around to tell him as much, but he was cute so I decided I could dance a little jig with him. We shimmied, two stepped and he twirled me twice. When the song went off I made my way back to my post. He followed me.


“You ran off the dance floor, you don’t like the way I dance?”

“Oh, I don’t really dance; I do a little something when my jam comes on.” I snapped my fingers, puckered my lips and started to shake my hips. He started to laugh. “But seriously I don’t dance.”

“Oh, I thought I might have scarred you off?”
“Oh not at all.”

“Hope another one of your jams comes on then.”

“Don’t get greedy, you were lucky, it’s rare that I dance.”

“Excuse me? You are funny. Do you want something to drink?”

“Oh no I’m fine. I have some water right here.”

“Let me get you a real drink.”

“No thank you, I’m not drinking, but maybe my girl wants something.” I turn to my friend standing next to me and ask her if she wants a drink. I then turn back to him and tell him she wants a martini. He looks at me funny and then leans in and asks,

“What’s your name?”

“I’m Ursala, and you are?”

“I’m M______”

“My friend wants a martini.”

“I didn’t ask your friend if she wanted a drink I asked you.”

“Well I don’t want one, but she does.” He then signaled some dude, he walked over they had a quick exchange. Then he says her drink is coming.


He asked me a couple more questions, but then he asked if I had any kids, I was turned off. I hate when guys ask this question. We are at the club, keep it light and breezy.  I told him no, then I completely turned my body and started talking to my girl. He tapped me on my shoulder after a while and asked a few more questions I didn’t care to answer. I then excused myself and walked off. I didn’t see him anymore that evening until I came out of the club. He walks over to me and says.

“It was nice meeting you. Did you have a good time?”

“Yes I did!”

“I have a question for you. Where did I go wrong?”

“Huh?!? What?”

“I thought we were having a good conversation, but then you walked off. Then I saw you talking to some other guy and you were laughing and carrying on. You looked like you were really having a good time. What did he say to you? I am just trying to improve myself, step up my game. I think you are beautiful and you seem like a nice girl. I am a nice guy, have my ish together and I want to know what a girl like you wants to hear.”


I am really weirded out. I am thinking this dude is crazy, but I could tell he was sincere and really serious so I felt like I should try to help him. I am a sucka for a person who appears to be in need. Plus I love to share my opinions, so when someone asks for it who am I to deny them. I didn’t really know what to tell him. I couldn’t really remember the conversation I had with the guy he was talking about, but I remembered he was funny and light. So I say “Uhm, you want to know what he said?”

“Yes, what did he say to you?”

“Well it’s not really what he said. When at the club I’m not looking for deep conversation. I can barely hear you and I don’t need you screaming a whole lot of stuff in my ear. So just keep it simple and light. Crack a joke, tell me I look nice, and ask I don’t know maybe why I’m out.”

“What was wrong with what I said?”

“You ask too many questions.”

“You think I was asking too many questions.”

“Yes. It was like 21 Questions.”

“Well I wanted to get to know you.”

“While we are at the club?”

“When I meet someone I like I want to gather information. I didn’t come at you all Ay Shawty and I feel like you just dismissed me. I’m a nice guy and girls are always talking about there are no good guys, but here I am. It’s just girls like you don’t give me a chance.”

I started thinking oh geeze the nice guy spiel, I have opened up a can of worms and here he goes trying to get all deep on me. I don’t have time to dissect why he can’t get quality girls to like him. That will take time and lots more questions. I’m out trying to enjoy myself not provide dating counseling, but want to help him out a bit. So I say “Well you shouldn’t be looking for girls like me at the club. If you want to showcase all of your nice guy qualities you might have better luck at the grocery store or maybe the mall. I am not trying to have conversation like you desire while I am at the club. As far as what to say doesn’t really matter what you say if you start with a compliment. Don’t ask for basic vital information past a name and a hometown. A conversation is an organic, but living thing. It can develop in so many ways. One good question can receive hundreds of different answers if it’s a good question. If someone doesn’t seem interested find someone else, you will click with someone.”

“I like you, we need to get together. You make me want to put a ring on it. I like where your head is at. I can tell you are sweet standing out here trying to help me out. I really like you, let me get your number we need to talk some more and make plans for dinner.”

“No, see we didn’t click. You need to find someone that YOU actually click with. Have a good evening and get home safe.” I then looked at him crazy and walked off.


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