The Mistress…

I went to the movies last night to see the Duchess. It’s a great movie, and when I say great I mean that in a I thought the actors did a great job of portraying the life and disturbing marriage of Georgina Cavendish, the Duchess of Devonshire. The Duchess had hoped to have a marriage filled with love, devotion and conversation that lead to a connection with her husband. Unfortuntaely her marriage was no fairy tale and there was no love, no passion and definitely no conversation, just duties and responsibilities to be fulfilled. Clearly her role was to secure the duke’s lineage by producing a male heir. It should be noted that initially she has children just not boys. 


While on vacation in Bath, to receive “ treatments” to treat her lack of male heirs, she befriends Bess. In the movie, she approaches Bess after she watches her husband speak to her at a party. Why she chooses to befriend a woman she knows her husband is attracted to is a mystery to me. It’s plain, poor decision making in my mind. I suppose the two forge a relationship based on unhappy marriages. Plus, Bess tells the Duchess a sob story about being beaten by her husband and not being able to see her children. The Duchess must have been moved by the story because she invites her to come live with her family. Poor thing was bored, wanted company and needed a friend, but that does not excuse another act of poor decision making. If you see your man trying to hollar at a another woman you do not let her into your home. Bess moves into the house and from the minute she gets there she is scheming. The Duchess learns that Bess can’t be trusted when arrives home after a political meeting to hear the shrieks and panting of the two in the duke’s room. She is heartbroken and demands that the duke send Bess away, but he responds that this is out of the question. So now her husband’s whore, sorry mistress, is posted up chilling at the crib. Bess even moves her three little boys into the house. What is absurd is that they all sit at the same table and eat dinner together. It is mad. I could not even imagine the heartache, grief and misery The Duchess must have had to cope with daily. However, it got me to thinking would I rather have my man’s mistress under the same roof or be tormented by knowing he was having an affair with another woman?


Should the mistress be a mystery?


I am a firm believer that men are only as faithful as their options. I also believe men cheat, unless they have a solid relationship with God. Therefore in my mind MOST men cheat. So would I rather know and live with the competition or wonder who she is, what she looks like and what my man sees in her? It’s kind of like Hef and his girlfriends, these girls know the name and face of those competing for Hef’s attention. Maybe this knowledge is comforting, but I often wonder what type of self esteem issues Holly, Bridgette and Kendra are battling with and whether they receive therapy.  However, maybe it is nice to know. Instead of wondering where he is and what he might be doing, I would know exactly what is going on and how frequently. I believe that perfume on jackets, make-up on collars, hushed phone calls, lonely nights, unexplained absences, inattentive love making and distance definitely have to be worst. There is comfort in what you can see and feel. The unknown and the unseen are way more scarier since your imagination takes over. I would also much rather be on my own turf so I can keep an eye on her. She might prove to be useful and helpful with managing the household. Who knows she could be great at scrabble and be very interesting and entertaining. I mean if my husband likes her I might as well. I also wouldn’t have to worry about losing any beauty sleep tosing and turning from anxiety over my husband, I bet I would sleep like a baby.


The worse case scenario would be I didn’t like her. I think that I can pretty much get along with anyone so I don’t think this would be a problem. Issues might arise from jealousy on my part and not wanting to share. I am selfish and I want what I want when I want it. Not being able to see my husband on my schedule would cause complications to the arrangement. What if somehow my husband started to prefer her over me? Oh that would surely cause confusion and then I would have to leave. So I don’t think that knwoing the other woman or moving her into the house would work for me after all.  I do hope that my husband has a close, solid relationship with God.


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