Back to the Future…

If you bring an old friend back from the past, no matter what you do, is history bound to repeat itself?


I live in a city that is big enough not to see everyone you know, but small enough to send past flames across your path on a regular basis.  There are those that you see and want to duck and hide from and then there are those that you actually want to bump into.


While running some errands after work, I ran into an old friend. I saw him first, smiled and said “Hi.”  I was in the middle of a conversation so I turned back and put him out of my mind. As I was leaving the store he stopped me, complimented me (it is oh so nice to look good when you run into someone), and asked for my number. I chuckled as I walked away because I didn’t think I would hear from him, but I was hoping that I would.


He called : ). We talked a few times and then we decided to have dinner. We basically caught up with each other and got a run down of what was going on since we left off. I think we both enjoyed each other’s company, I know I did. I thought he was taller (although he is still tall), but he was cuter than I remembered, and his voice is oh so very soothing. He is definitely a good guy and I can’t for the life of me remember exactly what happened. I met him about five years ago, so I was younger and who knows what stage I was in then, but I can only vaguely remember that it had something to do with us not knowing how to compromise with one another. I do think that was an issue, I don’t think either of us was willing to give in. However, I still can’t remember for sure.


I think it is good that I can’t remember what happened, because I would like to get to know him for who he is now. Since I know how I act, and I don’t want to look at him sideways suspect of everything that he says or does, this is a great thing. I just know it must not have been a big deal or anything tragic and unforgivable (or maybe I just blacked it out).  I unfortunately have brought back blasts from that past, that I shouldn’t have and it was just an exercise in confusion. Some history needs to remain that way and it is not necessary to see if you can change the ending to your story together. Even if it is only that we become friends, I would like to invest some time into getting to know him again. You can never have too many good guys in your corner, and I DO remember him being very nice.


Despite my feelings two of my coworkers felt that I was making a mistake by “reheating the leftovers” as they called it. Since whatever happened was enough to make me decide not to pursue him it was bound to happen again. And by entertaining him, I was sending the message that whatever he did in the past I was cool with. I disagreed I felt that he probably forgot about whatever happened too, aren’t women the ones who remember everything, not men? I also think being older and wiser might improve our interactions. Plus what if I was the culprit? I can’t say cause I don’t remember. If they are right and I am wrong maybe I will experience déjà vu right before and it will all come flooding back to me. It’s a risk I am willing to take.


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