When a crush disappoints…

Okay this was a banner week for me as far as my crushes go. On June 10th, my BIGGEST crush stopped by my desk and I thought I was going to pass out. First, let it be known that I got out of my seat. Why I felt I needed to get up is beyond me, but I also bumped into my desk in my rush to greet him at my door. I was just so surprised and caught off guard, so my natural instinct was to get up and say hello. I think that urge comes from the estrogen overload in my life, especially at work. There are no men at my job. So when one comes around it causes a stir. However, my biggest crush far exceeded my expectations and I was smiling and blushing the whole time he was in my office. I’m sure he was like poor thing.


Crush encounter No. 2


Fast forward to yesterday. I went to whole foods to pick up a couple of items. I am trying to economize by eating less, that sounds much better than I want to lose five vanity pounds before I go to the beach later this month. I was comparing peaches when a guy I see regularly on the scene comes strolling into the produce section. We see each other so often we greet each other with a smile or head nod, but we had never spoken. I have a crush on him because he always looks terrific and seems like he is having a good time. When I saw him I ducked down behind the peaches and grabbed my purse. I wanted to check myself in my compact before he saw me. Once I made sure nothing was in my nose, teeth or the corners of my eyes I popped back up. To my delight his back was to me and he was on the other side of the produce stand. I stuffed some fruit into the bag and proceeded to intentionally bump into him.


He turned around while I was rounding the oranges and he looked up. I smiled. He smiled back. I couldn’t help it so I smiled again, this time a big kool-aid smile. I guess he realized that I wasn’t going to say anything until he spoke. So he said “Hello”.

“Hi!” I said with the enthusiasm of a kindergarten teacher on the first day of school. Whenever I want to seem un-pressed I always do the exact opposite.

“I’m B____, by the way. I’m not sure we’ve ever actually met, but I know I see you all the time.”

“Oh, uh uh no, no we have never met, I would remember, I know that for a fact, but I wanted to say hello before, I think the last time I saw you, but Hi!” As soon as all of that tumbled out I thought he must think I’m insane, you were supposed to tell him your name silly.

“So do you live in the neighborhood? I’ve never seen you in here before.”

“Yes, I do. I live right down the street. I don’t come here often, well maybe like once a month I think yeah. There is also a boutique in this shopping plaza that I like to go to. I also go to the spa across the street. So I’m over here often enough.” Now I was like who is talking, why are you saying all this random stuff?

He just smiled back at me and kind of shook his head. “I didn’t get your name, you are…” and he held out his hand.

“Oh, right, yes, I’m Ursala, Ursala Kennedy. That’s my name.”

“I don’t think I have ever met someone with that name, but I like it, it’s really pretty. Like you.” He smiled and winked his eye.

This time I beamed my 100 watt smile back at him. Was this flirty freshness? Well if it was it was cool because as of late I had started flirting with the 21 year old at blockbuster.

We walked around the store together and we chatted it up. He laughed at my love for cheese and I looked confused as he tried to explain the different types of coffee beans. I ended up with far more in my cart then the dates and walnuts I went in to get but it was cool. We walked outside and he asked if I needed help with my groceries. I only had two bags so I declined, but thanked him. We said goodbye and I walked away. I was in my car about to back up when I noticed a car behind mine. I honked my horn since I was blocked in. There was a tap on my window, so I turned to look and it was him. I was kind of confused, but I rolled my window down anyway.

“Hey I wanted to give you my card, do you have a card you could give me?”

“Oh I don’t carry cards around.”

“Well then can I get your number?”

“Uhm, well, you want my number?”

“Yeah I want to call you maybe we can plan to hang out instead of just bumping into each other.”

I need to provide some background here. He was a huge disappointment.

Now it is important to understand that I was confused and hesitant because I was not clear as to what type of hanging out he wanted to do. Yeah gas prices are high so maybe carpooling with someone who goes to the same places might not be a bad idea. However, my senses were telling me he was trying to pick me up. Okay this was a problem for two reasons. One because I got the distinct impression that he was kind of soft and sugary, not in the girlfriend two snaps in a circle, but not quite manly enough for my taste. And two because his grip when he shook my hand had no weight. I know men try to keep it gentle when they shake a woman’s hand, but I need a little force to let me know you are there. I thought if it wasn’t a big deal and he wanted to simply hang out he would have gotten my info inside the store or definitely right before we said our goodbyes. However, pulling your car behind mine to stop me from leaving is leaning towards I really want to “hang out”. I didn’t want to give him my number because he was just limp wristed, whispery raspy voiced, light footed, and …..Soft. There is no other way to put it, he needed a shot of testosterone maybe even an iv-drip for a day or two. 


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