If he wanted to kill me….

I recently received a trip invite from someone I have taken a curious interest in, but I haven’t known them, in my mind, for long enough for it to be safe to leave the state with them. Now I think it is humorous when someone suggests that I accompany them out of the state, the creation of the FBI and the necessity for the Mann Act always prance across the mental landscape. The key is that since I increased my dating range, I have seen a significant upswing in the number of interesting and unique opportunities I have to review. The spike in trips has made it necessary to review my current process for handling these types of requests. It seems to be a common practice, and I am the one who makes it a big deal. In general I don’t want to raise expectations and don’t want to feel obligated to be nice or accommodating.

Plus of course there are the normal blinking, flashing concerns:

a)      he just wants to sleep with me

b)      he wants to impress me, since he can’t successfully do it at home

c)      he wants to sell me into slavery

d)      he wants to kill me

However, now I am beginning to get these on such a regular basis that I am trying to determine why I don’t chose to take any one up on the offer.


So I was talking to my co-worker about this trip invite and going on and on about why I shouldn’t go, but how I wanted to go. When she said,

“If he wanted to kill you or sell you he could do it here, right down the street.”

“It’s just that if he wanted to do something he could really just do it here, he doesn’t have to take you some where else.”

I stared blankly.

I looked at her blankly because I was really thinking about what she said. I mean it made perfectly good sense, but I kept thinking about being the dumb girl who goes to a hotel room at two in the morning to talk. Is all the concern and alarm just in my head? Why am I so concerned that if I leave the state suddenly my safety will be in jeopardy? Why do I always get anxious or suspicious when someone invites me out of town? If I am willing to go to brunch, lunch or dinner with someone and let them pick me up in their car, what am I really afraid of? I keep thinking pace your self, I just don’t know exactly what I am pacing.

I am a decent judge of character (working on becoming an excellent judge) and haven’t come across anyone that I have gone on more than one date with that I thought might be certifiably crazy, sketchy or suspect. Once someone has passed the three date test its pretty much smooth sailing until we hit a wave, iceberg, a storm or he is kicked out the boat. If I am already spending time with them, changing locations doesn’t really make a difference. It also just dawned on me that a trip would allow more good old fashioned face time, which would allow me to decide more quickly if I should invest more time. I know that I think no matter how nice someone seems a sinister side could always lurk beneath. However, if I keep an eye on my surroundings, locate all exits, and bring my American Express card I should be just fine. Plus if I only have one life to live, once my time is up it’s up, what location I am in won’t really matter.


1 Comment

  1. Princess C said,

    April 14, 2008 at 4:09 am

    You are being smart and apprehensive which is always a plus these days. So many people are deceptive, there is no such thing as being to careful.

    And it is most excellent that you speak with people about your plans as you do to get advice, If I ever have to ask someone’s opinion, generally it’s a good idea. I’ve been successful so far, but I have my off days, when I have made some CLUELESS decisions and of course that’s where God’s protection comes in as well, He’s saved me from my dumb self many a day. Anywho, good luck Doll! Later

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