I’m lucky. I coincidently arrive at the right place, at the right exact moment often. I have a loving guardian angel. I have a sixth sense. I don’t know what to call always stumbling on vital information that is important to my emotional well being? It always seems to come right before deep feelings are developed, massive amounts of time are invested or goodies are consumed. The following are some examples:

a)      spying a condom wrapper on the floor following a “I haven’t had sex” speech over dinner

b)      girlfriends and wives calling my phone

c)      receiving pictures that have included incriminating photos with date stamps

d)      rolling up on canoodling at way out of the way places

e)      I have even gotten a text or two that were clearly not meant for me

So it should have been no shock or surprise when I “run” into the guy that I have been dating when he is out of town. I didn’t know it was possible to see someone who is out of town in town. I mean is it possible to see someone who is in another state? I think it’s my superwoamn x-ray vision. So how did this chance spotting occur? I was leaving work rather late and I passed him while turning to get on the expressway. My simple self actually smiled and waved because I was sincerely happy to see him. However, it immediately dawned on me, wait he is not supposed to be here. According to our last conversation he was on a completely different coast. He isn’t supposed to be back until the end of the week. Guess something came up here and he had to cut his trip short. Did he mean he was going to the next town over? Maybe he has an identical twin brother who drives the exact same car because I know I didn’t just see him. Never one to wait because there is no better time than the present, I called him. I was just curious to hear the fantastic explanation as to why I just passed him if he is out of town. I mean clearly he is NOT in L.A. I wasn’t mad, I was just irritated. Now what was really strange was that he didn’t answer the phone. This is only strange because he always answers the phone when I call, or calls me right back. It’s been a little over an hour now and I haven’t heard a peep. I want, no I need an explanation. I know I can’t demand an explanation, but I want to call him back, or at least send him a text. I know anything he will say will be in his defense because he was caught, but I don’t care. The problem is I like him. If I didn’t like him I would have immediately deleted his name from my cell phone and I don’t answer unrecognizable numbers. This situation is pretty new, but I thought all was well in our little world. I honestly can’t think of one good reason as to why he would lie to me. There is simply no need since we are both grown. I also want to know why he felt the need to tell me he was elsewhere since I’m convinced he has been here all along. If someone tells you they are out of town and you discover that they are not is any explanation sufficient? Why do I even want one? Does he even owe me an explanation, or is his silence explanation enough? However, right now I want him to return my phone call because I want to know why.

Am I THAT girl?

I recently had a misunderstanding with a friend and there was an unfortunate outcome. I don’t think we are speaking anymore. Now, I have sent a few texts and texting is the devil, but I expected a response. We had a long conversation about how not speaking was childish. He told me that if we were ever not speaking, he would like to know about it so he wouldn’t unnecessarily bother me. Especially if I no longer desired his company. He didn’t want to be THAT guy. The one who calls, texts, emails and sends carrier pigeons in hopes of re-establishing the lines of communications. So can’t he at least provide the same courtesy and let me know that we aren’t talking? 

I think it might be helpful to provide a little background about our situation. We met at Lucky. A girlfriend was trying to determine whether or not she wanted to hook up with an old flame while flirting with possibilities. I was peering into my empty glass when a guy approached me to introduce his friend. I think this is so lame, but he was older so I played along. This was during my older man phase, so while she sat contemplating our next move, I made nice with him. He was a little too smooth for me, but somehow I gave him my number. Not really somehow, we were changing locations and they wanted to tag along. So he asked for my number, for directions sake of course. He got me! Despite my temporary lapse of better judgment, I am grateful that we made the connection. After about four phone calls we decided to go out. Our first date was nice. I learned that he was a gentlemen, refined, well spoken, oh so smooth and witty. The best part is that he always smells SO good. I am a sucker for an intoxicating aroma. Think it has to do with my love for food, and smell is so key. He also likes music, and he opened me up to some new sounds that I had never heard before. He is also profound and deep, which works sometimes because he catches me off guard. However, the jokes on him because anyone who knows me well knows I’m not deep. It’s just not in me. I don’t know, but I just don’t have that psychic connection with the universe that causes me to have a deep connection with my emotions. So after a few dates and more conversation, it came out that he liked me, a lot. Problem, during this same conversation I discovered that he had three children. Not the one that I remembered from his second interview. Now he claimed that we focused on his first child only because I asked so many questions. We just didn’t get around to the second child, and definitely not the third child. So clearly it was my fault. I guess I just didn’t ask the right questions. Guys get me with that one, because if you don’t ask the right questions you will not get the desired information. I sometimes think about going to law school just so that I can ask the right questions and argue my point effectively. However, I thought it was strange that his other children never came up, and they are young 6 and 9. These are cute, cuddly ages that produce lots of funny, fluffy stories for parents to share. So with the three children in mind, I reassessed the situation and decided that it would be best if we didn’t continue dating. I told him this and he said he understood, but we agreed to remain friends. Now to be honest we had two dates after this conversation, so I don’t think he or I took me seriously.

We were chatting on my way to work last week, when I mentioned that I wanted to see Alvin Ailey. He thought it was a great idea and suggested that I get tickets. I giggled because I thought he said something too ticklish. I know that he caught my surprise in my giggle, but he ignored it, so I played along with him. The key is that we ended the conversation without me agreeing to purchase any tickets. I received an email later during the same day from a friend inquiring if I wanted to see the exact same show. Hey the universe provides when you ask. Who am I to turn it down? So I decided to tell him. I don’t know why I just didn’t come up with some lame excuse, but I am grown and I hate to lie when I don’t have to. Plus the worse is to see someone you blew off while you are out. This has happened to me, numerous times, and I’m just too old for that now. I thought my decision to tell him was courteous. Wrong!  He was not happy. He immediately texted me to say that he was displeased and thought I must be joking with him. I responded by text that it was no joke and that it was because I didn’t have to pay for tickets. I really don’t know WHY I said that. He did not like that response either and sent the following: You know I would do just about anything for you. I’ve taken you out on me. Not one time have you offered to give or take me out (not that I need you to). For you to decide to take that offer spells out the youngness in you. And your reply is really young. Wow that reply is crazy young, what’s wrong with you. I’m not going off, I’m just amazed at you. Hey look good luck to you in your endeavors. Now after reading this text I thought okay its over. I must admit I was a little sad, but all situations need a decisive ending so I thought this was it. To my surprise, he called me shortly thereafter. Since I was in a good mood and I consider myself to be quite mature, not young at all, I answered the phone. The conversation started off tense, but by the end of it I was under the impression we were definitely still friends. I thought the misunderstanding was resolved and we could go back to the friend charade. The next week I got a blank text from him. Not wanting to miss whatever it was he had to say, I let him know that it was blank. When I did not receive a response, I sent another text. I have not heard a peep from him since. Do I reach out again or do I let it go? Life has taught me that ALL men, no matter what they say or what you do, will call, email or text after the “end”. So I want to wait, but I am baffled because this is so opposite to what he preached. I also believe he wants me to be baffled so that he will therefore be on my mind. However, all that really doesn’t matter I just simply want to know what’s up. I mean I just want to be clear that we aren’t talking so I won’t be THAT girl.

ONE man at a time…

I am not in good mood today. The day started off fine, but halfway through the morning I received a particularly unsettling email that maybe if it arrived on any other day it would have been fine. Unfortunately, today I am ready to pick up the phone and call to give them a piece of my mind. I tell you some people just don’t have any email training or etiquette. Okay, that is not the focus of this post, stay focused. I decided in 2008 to take a different approach to finding a suitable companion. I found that my former style was causing unnecessary stress on my part and apparently confusion for the other parties. I am now attempting to date ONE man at a time. When I just typed that, I realized that I am practicing self imposed repression, how stifling. I think it’s ridiculous. It reads crazy. I am a single lady in her prime, the roaring 20’s. Although it reads funny, once I make my mind up to do something I do it. I am committed to trying it out to see what type of benefits might come out of it. Why am I doing this? I heard from more than one forlorn young man the dissatisfaction of knowing that I was dating others. Surprisingly, guys do not like it when you are honest with them about the fact you are dating others. So I am attempting to date ONE man at a time in an attempt to allow more focus on each individual, so that we can have more meaningful interactions. I also have a very short fuse when it comes to ridiculousness, some might call them minor problems, but when there are multiple options one can be quickly dismissed. No w I will deal with minor problem as they come instead of deciding that I don’t have time for it. However, most importantly for me I can quickly determine if someone is truly worth my time. To this point, since I am having a rather unsettling day I decide to reach out to the ONE guy I am focusing on in hopes that we might be able to see each other this evening. Yes, this is a stretch. To call someone the day of during these hectic, overly scheduled times is unlikely to produce the desired results. However, I think hey he might be available. I wanted to see him because he is always happy and enthusiastic. I could really use his positive vibe right now, and it’s contagious. So when he declined I was not totally surprised, but what I was not ready for was his next statement.

“I don’t believe I’m going to be able to make it on Saturday.” Now Saturday we have a scheduled date, actually it has been on the books for over two weeks now.Now I am thinking hold up, but I respond calmly.“Oh did something come up?”

“I feel today that things will be hectic on Saturday.”

“Oh really, what’s going on?”

“Well things are pretty hectic today and I am not sure about Saturday”

“So you think what’s going on today might carry over into Saturday?” Cause I’m thinking dude, it’s Tuesday. “Are you sure?”

“No, things are just hectic today.”

“So what exactly is going on to make things so hectic? Do you need any help?”

“It’s just hectic, but I will drop the tickets off for the show on Saturday because I know you wanted to go.”

“Okay, oh that’s nice of you.”

“I will drop them off this evening.”

“Ok, well call me later and just keep me posted on Saturday.”


Now I am like okay this hectic business sounds like some mess. I don’t want to pry, but come on. He just kept saying things are hectic. Why can’t he explain what is so hectic? I don’t want to badger, but can I get a point of clarification? However, since I have just ONE man now I am going to go along with it, that is for now. Hmmm, but now I am a little irritated because I don’t get to see him today and since things are SO hectic I probably won’t see him on Saturday either. So why again did I agree to focus on ONE man at a time? Right about now this new dating style is not working for me. When there is more than one man in rotation, there is more than one possibility. Now I feel that I failed to plan properly. Everyone knows that the failure to plan is a plan to fail and now I have to deal with not having a plan B, C or D.


It’s Saturday now and it’s official. Things are still hectic and he isn’t going to the show. Fine with me cause I get to go and take who ever I want : ).

How I ended up on Word Press…

Hello Blog World!

I thought my first post should be a personal introduction to who I am, but that’s not really why I am here. So I thought it would be better if I quickly explained why I decided to start a blog. I was chatting it up with one of my coworkers about a particularly twisted boy-lemma, when it dawned on me that I was limiting myself to the comments, feedback, humor, wisdom and just plain non-sense of those in my circle. I realized that my social circle is pretty similar to me in background, goals, interests, lifestyle, education and sometimes similar thought patterns. Plus I share with them even when they don’t want to hear it. So why let them have all the fun?  I thought why not open it up to a larger community, why not just share with the world? Specifically the world wide web. That’s when I decided I need a blog. Technology is so awesome. I wish I had done this so much sooner, but growth and understanding takes time and so I have arrived here at the right time. I think that sharing in this type of forum will be entertaining, interesting, educational, and maybe a little therapeutic. Please keep in mind that this is an experiment of sorts. So with that said, I think that’s it. I’m ready! Watch Out Now!

Hello world!

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